Salutations, thrill-seeking enthusiasts of absurdity! Today, I'm offering you a conundrum. I’m guessing that you are all familiar with the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare: slow and steady wins the race. The moral of the story is nice and all, but how often does reality reinforce that conclusion? And why am I bringing this up in an article about World of Warcraft Minis? Read on to find out!

Back in the day, I ran cross-country for school. While I was neither particularly fast nor slow, I’d like to compare that legendary reptile to myself. You see, our home course was pretty flat for miles 1 and 3, but the middle mile was a back-breaker. It featured a quarter-mile climb that was essentially vertical, shored up only by gigantic tree roots and boards. The ascent was so steep that I once saw runners crawling up it on their hands and knees! To add insult to injury, the course circled around the backside of the hill and forced you to climb the cliff again. A less arduous hill followed that one, and then it was smooth sailing again.

I never slowed down on those hills, ever. I passed more runners there than on any other part of the track. It hurt, but it was worth the price.

Actions in World of Warcraft Miniatures tend to fall into one of two camps that I like to call static and dynamic. The dynamic side is the one we all know and love—rolling the dice. Every time you use an ability with some kind of power, you are gambling the game on your success. The excitement of the uncertain and the potential for a huge payoff has a certain allure to it. This camp is generally rewarding and frequently offers big benefits in exchange for small costs. Nonetheless, even when you stack the deck in your favor, you won't always beat the odds. Sometimes, the odds beat you over the head with a baseball bat! Whether it's monstrous miniatures or harrowing hills, pitfalls are inevitable. The Hare approaches a race with a dynamic mindset.

On the other hand, there are several static effects that mimic the Tortoise: Doomfinger, DoTs, Lesser Prayer of Healing, and the like. None of these are going to win any blue ribbons for being cost-effective. There is no bursting or one-shotting in this category (well, unless you can get Corruption, Doom, Shadow Word: Pain, and Curse of Agony on a single target by tick 5, but that’s just silly!). Today, we're going to look at the king of static abilities: Holy Nova.

Holy Nova has it all: damage, healing, and the capacity to affect multiple figures simultaneously. There is just one tiny catch—you have to be next to stuff. There is a reason that Priest's healing abilities have range 3. The only thing squishier than a Priest is a Mage! Priest stats max out at 5/6 honor, depending on the faction. They don’t get any better than 1/3/7, excepting Tyrande or Shadow Priests touting Shadow Form, but none of them can use Holy Nova anyway, so they're irrelevant to the discussion. Going for higher honor figures won’t net you any more Priestly goodness at this stage of the game. The text of Holy Nova doesn't say anything about requiring you to deal damage. We can look at it as a Super-Sized Lesser Prayer of Healing. So, to make up for our lack of focus on the damage portion of Holy Nova, we’re going to bring someone else to the party who can do that job.

Team 1: Only Mostly Dead (26 honor)

Chancellor Velora

Varimathras and Doom are going to pick up the DPS slack in this one. And between Varimathras’s crit and Blessing of Sacrifice, you're going to need those AoE heals. Of course, everyone knows that you kill the guy with Blessing of Sacrifice first, so Aleyah is packing Blessing of Kings to slow that down. Holy Nova for heals is great and all, but that seems like kind of a cop out. Let’s ride this thing for all it’s worth!

Team 2: Up Close and Personal (20 honor)

Boris Brightbeard

Believe it or not, Boris wants to get in someone’s face, and it’s not just because he's a hot-headed Dwarf. Check out the crit on his attack. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s a miniature Holy Nova, just waiting to happen. In fact, if all Boris did was crit for the entire game, it would hardly matter if he ever scored a hit otherwise. Jezbella is going to help ensure that possibility with Arcane Flux and her secondary ability. That comes out to 11 chances per attack to crit, not even counting terrain. I’m thinking it’s going to happen frequently. Hoodon can boost Boris up to 3 armor. That buff is essential, even with the Bulwark. Boris is going to be parked next to a lot of stuff, some of which will be beyond the Taunt radius. The Bulwark prevents him from being completely surrounded, and battered to smithereens. Just make sure you take a little damage before you go Nova. Gotta spread the love!

Until next time, may you embrace your inner holy man, and know the joy of 12 point health swings.